This Isn't Love! YAOI
by SimonOnAcid
Summary: WARNING! This story contains Yaoi, which means BoyxBoy love. If you don't like it, don't read it! If someone breaks your heart once, can you ever truly let them in again? My name is Onodera Ritsu, and I, an editor for Marukawa Publishings, am being sexually harassed by none other than my boss who happens to think I'm still in love with him. But let me tell you, This isn't love!
1. Chapter 1

"T-T-Takano!" I shout, trying to push him away. "Stop it!" He smirks and continues to kiss me, slowly making his way down my chest. "Takano!" I hiss, my face bright red. "Please," I beg.

He stops and wipes his mouth, smiling at me. "Why should I? You're obviously enjoying yourself." He gestures towards my pants, making me gasp and look away from him.

"W-well, any guy would get a bo-" He interrupts me with a hungry kiss, getting on top of me and unbuttoning my shirt. I let out a quiet moan, and he gives me a look.

"Shhh. Onodera, we're at work. If anyone were to hear us..." He chuckles softly. "Although, if you keep moaning, I could always take you back to my place and we can finish up."

I glare and squirm underneath him. "Please, get off." I manage to gasp out, to which he shakes his head in response.

"I'm not done." He whispers, leaning down and kissing me again. I kiss him back eagerly, unable to control myself any longer. He pulls back and nibbles on my ear, making me shiver. "Ritsu..." He whispers, pulling me close. "How do you feel about me?" He asks, his voice soft and kind.

"S-Saga...I-"

"Ricchan!" Kisa yells, banging on the bathroom door. "I know your in there! Man up and stop avoiding work, we need you, you know!"

I stiffen and look up at Takano, who sighs and gets off of me. "Go do your job," he mumbles, buttoning up my shirt for me. I blush and nod once, muttering a meek 'thank-you' before rushing out of the bathroom.

"Sorry, Kisa!" I yell, giving him an apologetic look. "I wasn't feeling well..." I lie, sitting down in my chair and looking over at him.

"Mmhmm. Heard that one before." He states, rolling his eyes and handing me a bundle of papers. "Here's Mutou's new storyboard, she just sent it over." I smile and take it from him, nodding.

"Oh! Already? It's here early!" I exclaim, flipping through the pages. "I'll have to call her up and thank her." I say, grabbing the phone and dialing her number. A hand grabs my arm.

"Don't praise her over every little achievement, Onodera." Takano's voice states from behind me, making me jump. "Or she'll start to think you're treating her like a child." He finishes, letting go of me.

I nod and avoid looking at him, hanging up the phone and grabbing a pen. "Okay. Thanks." I mumble, starting to read the new storyboard.

After about five more hours of nothing but manga-related work, I finish up for the day and put on my coat. Hoping to leave before Takano, I put on my scarf and sprint to the elevator. Jumping inside I hit the first floor button repeatedly, worried that Takano will see me and get on too.

"Oi! Onodera!" I hear his voice call from the office. "Hold it for me," he calls out, to which I tap the first floor button even more in response.

"Come on, Come on, Come on, Come on," I say as the elevator doors finally start to shut. Just as they do so, a hand comes in between them and makes them reopen. NOOOO!

"Did you not hear me?" Takano asks grumpily, adjusting his glasses as he gets in with me.

"Hear you?" I say calmly, "I didn't realize you said anything. Sorry." I lie, hoping to sound convincing, as the elevator door shuts.

He sighs and shakes his head. "Why do you try and avoid me so much?"

I shrug. "I don't know..." I mumble. "Maybe because you sexually harass me every time we're alone?" I say, peeking over at him to see his reaction.

He catches me peeking and grins, grabbing a hold of me and kissing me quickly. "I don't think it counts as sexual harassment," He mutters, licking my neck. "If you enjoy and crave every second of it."

I blush. "Takano!" I stammer, pushing him away just as the elevator dings and the doors open to the show the first floor. "Quit it." I hiss, getting out and walking towards the exit.

He follows right after me, and grabs my hand as soon as we exit the building. I blush deeply and look down at the ground, trying to ignore his existence completely.

"Have you talked to An recently?" He asks quietly as we walk toward our residence.

"Once." I mumble, feeling stressed over the mention of my ex-fiance's name.

"What'd she say?"

"She was just asking how I was and stuff." I stammer, thinking back to the last time we talked. She'd actually called to tell me that Mom still wanted us to marry, and that she was already making plans, but telling Takano that would only cause complications. It's not like we're dating anyway. It's not like I need to tell him those things. He's my boss. Nothing else. I tell myself, trying to ignore the way my heartbeat quickens every second we're touching.

"Ah, I see. What'd she _really_ say?" Takano mumbled, squeezing my hand tightly.

"N-nothi-"

"Onodera."

I sigh. "She, um, called and said that Mom wasn't giving up on the marriage thing. And that she's making wedding plans."

Takano stops walking abruptly, letting go of my hand and staring at me sternly. "You better make sure that she stops, Onodera. You're mine, and no one is going to change that."

I blush and look away. "I'm not yours!" I say, feeling a bit dizzy.

Takano groans. "Onodera. You are mine. And you will always be. Get that through your skull, you idiot. I'm not losing you again." he states, as my vision starts to get blurry.

"Onodera?" I hear his voice shout, as everything starts to fade to black.

"Taka...no..."

"Onodera." I hear Takano's deep, sexy voice whisper in my ear. Wait. Sexy? Psshh. More like unattractive and creepy!

"Mmph." I manage to say, prying my eyes open. I look around, noting the hospital room I'm in, and then look up at the man leaning overtop of me. "Taka-" I start, but he puts a finger up to his lips, and I shut up.

"You're sick." He states, remaining on top of me. If someone were to come in-

"Takano. Get off!" I hiss, -they'd get the wrong idea!

He shook his head, his black hair covering his caramel colored eyes. "You've been sick for awhile now," he continued, as if I hadn't said anything. I nod once. Uh, oh. "And yet, you kept coming to work," I nod again. "overworking yourself," Another, slightly nervous, nod. "even though you had a horrible fever." He finishes, his eyes watching me coldly, sending shivers down my spine. God, he was pissed...

"Well, I-" I start, not really knowing how to explain myself. Yes, I was sick, and yes, I did have a pretty bad fever, but in the manga-editing business, you don't have time to be sick and miss a couple days until you get better. You've got to be at work, everyday, no matter what, or else you'll fall way behind, and probably never catch back up! "I know I was sick, but Takano, I didn't have time to stay home. I can't afford to miss a day at work. I'll fall behind!" I tried to explain to him, but by the look on his face, I wasn't getting anywhere.

"You could've at least told me." He murmured, looking hurt.

"Takano, you're my boss. It doesn't really concern you."

He slams his hand down on the hospital bed, making me jump. "You know I'm more than that," he growled angrily, making me wince. I'd never seen him this angry at me before. "You may like to think otherwise, Ritsu, but as I've said a million times, I am in love with you! And here you are, getting sick, majorly sick, and you won't even tell me that you are! How do you think I feel, when the love of my life can't even take two seconds of his own time to tell me he's not feeling well."

I avert my eyes, embarrassed. "I don't know..." I mumbled quietly. "But, Takano, you said you loved me. I never said that I loved you. So, why would I tell someone I don't love?" I asked.

Takano cupped my face in his hands, forcing me to look up at him. "Onodera. You do love me."

I shook my head. "No, I-"

"You need to stop lying to yourself, and admit it. You can't keep doing this. It's only going to hurt you in the end. The more you push me away,"

"What? The more alone I'll be? Good. That's what I want, Takano. Why can't _you _understand that? I don't want a relationship. I don't. And especially not one with a guy who broke my heart ten years ago." My eyes finally met his, and I felt my heart melt as pain flashed through his eyes.

"You broke my heart, too." He replied back, looking away.

"Yeah, but that was only because you misunderstood my reasoning for leaving." I say quickly.

"I think it was you, who misunderstood, Onodera." Takano said, making me glare at him. "You were the one who mistook my nervous laugh as a sign that I was just playing around with you." His thumb strokes my cheek softly, making me blush.

"If you don't get off, and someone comes in, then they'll think-"

"-That we're going out? That we're in love? Good. Let them think that." Takano interrupted, looking back at me with a hint of determination in his eyes. "And considering both of those things are true, I don't see why you should be worrying over someone coming in and thinking them."

My eyes widened and I opened my mouth to protest, but before I could speak, like always, Takano interrupted me with a kiss. A deep, sweet, soft kiss. Takano pushed himself against me, pulling me to him as though he were afraid if he let go I'd disappear. I felt my own lips slowly moving against his, and quickly stopped myself. No. I couldn't kiss him back. I didn't love him. I didn't.

Then why was I feeling so-

I immediately jerked back, pushing him off _of_ me with the small amount of strength I had left. He still remained over top of me, but he kept his body off of mine, using his hands to keep himself propped up. Takano looked a bit hurt, but the pain in his eyes turned to worry and concern in an instant. "What's wrong?" He asked quietly, brushing my brown hair out of my face.

I glared at him, placing my hands on his chest to make sure he kept back. "I'm sick, Takano. You shouldn't be kissing me when I'm sick."

Takano's eyes lit up with excitement. "But I can kiss you when you're healthy, then?" He asked in a teasing tone, making me sigh softly. He was the most arrogant, evil, manipulative,

"Ritsu."

"It's Onodera." I hissed.

Takano rolled his eyes, getting off of me and sitting on the edge of the bed instead. He placed a hand over his mouth, yawning quietly before he turned his attention back to me. "As I was saying, Ritsu, I wanted to talk to you about something_._"

I didn't bother to say anything, he'd continue no matter what I said, anyways.

"About someone, to be exact." I raised an eyebrow in question, but still remained silent. I already knew who he wanted to talk about, and honestly, she wasn't someone I liked bringing up.

"If it's about An, I don't want to hear it, Takano." I stated before he could go on, wanting to make it very clear to him that I wasn't going to speak about her. I didn't want to, and he couldn't make me. An was something that I didn't have any clue how to deal with, and that fact always made me anxious and upset. With Mom still making wedding plans after all these years of me telling her it wasn't going to happen, and An actually agreeing with those plans...I didn't seem to have a say in anything involving her anymore. Not that what I had to say mattered anyway. They both knew that the only thing I'd say in response to all this is, 'I'm not getting married.', and because of that, they decided to just stop asking me for my permission. They were in charge, and I was expected to just do whatever they said I'd do.

_Like that would ever happen._ I thought to myself. If anything, I'd rather get with Takano then An. At least then I'd be able to enjoy myself some.

Wait. No. "That's not...right." I whispered, sitting up in the hospital bed. I wouldn't enjoy myself with Takano. I never did.

Right? Takano was still watching me with those piercing eyes, and I allowed myself to meet his gaze. "What's not right?" Takano asked, giving me a confused look.

"My mind...It's damaged." I whispered, rubbing my eyes and shaking my head. No, no, no. There was no way in hell I'd ever enjoy being with Takano. That was just a fluke. My train of thought was going somewhere that it wasn't suppose to, and that just happened to cross my mind. But just because I thought that doesn't mean I actually believe that.

I...

Who was I even trying to explain this to, anyway?

...Don't

…Love

…Him...


	2. Chapter 2

A light knock sounded from my door, and I sighed softly, getting up to go answer it. "Listen—Takano, I really don't want to talk right now." I said as I pulled the apartment door open. The moment I swung it open, I took a step back, not expecting _her _of all people to be there.

"Oh, uh, An." I muttered, trying to hide my surprise at her being here. It was pretty late, especially for someone like An. "Do you need something?" I asked softly.

She nodded once and gave me a small smile, a light color of pink spread out on her cheeks. "Hello, Ri-chan." She greeted, bowing slightly before looking back up at me. "I'm sorry to come here so late in the night, but I wanted to talk to you about somethings."

I tried my very best to hold in my sighs. Oh, great. Here we go. I didn't need this tonight...

"You know I love you," She reminded me in her hushed tone, I nodded. Part of me wanted to invite her in, just out of fear that Takano could come out of his place at any second and see her, but part of me wanted to keep her outside the door, where she was right now. That way she wasn't obligated to stay any longer than she needed to. "And you know that the wedding is coming up really soon.."

"No, I didn't know that. Mom mentioned a wedding, but I didn't get any of the actual details." I said with a grimace.

An blinked and looked down at her feet nervously. "Oh...Well, it's coming up in about two weeks, and I wanted to make sure you were gonna go through with it. Your Mother really wants you and I to marry, you know. I want that too, actually. You have to inherit the family business, and-"

"I'll worry about inheriting the business when I need to. Mother and Father are perfectly healthy, and I honestly don't see why I'd need to start worrying about that now. And the wedding, An, look, I'm terribly sorry, but it's just not going to happen. I can't marry you."

"Well, why not?" She exclaimed, her voice slightly raised. "What do I not have that _he _does?"

I froze in shock for a moment, still not exactly used to the fact that she knew about my relationship with Takano. "Well, An—It's not like that, It's just-"

"No! Give me one reason he's better than me!"

_Come on, idiot, think of something! Give her a reason! _I heard Takano's voice echo in my head, making me even more nervous. "Uhm, well, he..." I trail off, closing my eyes tightly as I think.

_You know there's tons of reasons. She's just asking for one. Give her one, Ritsu. _

"He...He's..." My voice falters, and I reopen my eyes only to meet An's saddened gaze.

"Am I really not good enough?" She asked quietly, her voice breaking off in the end as small tears started to weld up in her eyes. Oh god. I was making her cry!

"Oh, An. Look, don't cry..." I mumbled, awkwardly pulling her into a hug. The moment I did, she wrapped her arms around me tightly and clung to me with all her strength.

"Pick me, please, Ritsu. I'm so much better for you!" She begged, tears streaming down her cheeks. I awkwardly patted her back, looking down at her.

"An, I'm sorry, but I can't pick you..." I murmured quietly, giving her a sad smile. "I'm so sorry that you had to fall for someone like me, but I can't hide how I feel. I can't get with you." I explained, hoping she'd finally understand. We weren't meant to be together. It just wasn't going to work.

"Please, Ritsu, I love you." She continued, making me sigh softly.

"I love you too, An, but not like-" She quickly moved her arms up to my neck, pulling me down to her height and giving me a soft kiss. I closed my eyes and placed my hands on her waist, preparing to give her a good shove away.

"What's with all the racket, Onodera?" I heard Takano's voice ask before a slight intake of breath. I instantly pushed An away, as if on instinct, looking over to see Takano watching the two of us with wide eyes, his caramel colored hues filled with hurt.

"Takano, I-"

An marched over to Takano and handed him a small white envelope. Takano's expression turned serious as he looked down at the envelope. "What is this?" He asked, looking up at An.

"The invitation to Ritsu and I's wedding." An stated, her voice showing off just how happy she was to shove that information into Takano's face.

He scoffed and looked up at me, raising an eyebrow in question. "Is this true, Onodera?" He asked quietly. I could tell by his voice that something was very, very wrong, but I didn't dare point it out in front of An.

"I-I told you Mom was making plans..." I stated quietly, looking down at my feet.

"But do you plan on going through with this?" He asked, his voice faltering just a bit at the end of his question.

I looked up at Takano, meeting his gaze. "N-No—I-"

"Of course he is." An answered for me, giving Takano a huge smile. "Why do you think we were kissing? He told me that he'd go through with it, and I kissed him in thanks." An lied smoothly, giving Takano a small smile, and a giggle.

"Ri-chan loves me, he always has." She cooed, making her way back over to me. This wasn't An. She never lied. Why was she doing it now?

She knew about how I felt for Takano. She told me to try my best. So why was she...?

Takano's gaze never once left mine, and I quickly averted my eyes. "Sorry." I squeaked, not knowing what else to say. If I tried to explain to him that she was lying, this would go on for even longer. I could always just tell him that she was lying later. But calling out my fiance, even if I don't want her to be, in front of Takano was wrong. Even I knew that.

"Well," Takano mumbled, grabbing onto the handle of his door. "you two have a wonderful night." He finished, sounding defeated.

He was just going to go with it? That wasn't Takano. Did he truly believe An over me? What with with the sudden changes of character?! An was lying, and Takano...

Takano was giving up.

Not only that, but-

He was giving up on _me. _Tears slowly slid down my cheeks as that information hit me. Crying in front of An? What was I doing?

I quickly wiped my eyes and gave An a harsh look. "I love him, An. I love him. I'm sorry." She opened her mouth to protest, but I quickly shut the door in her face, sliding down against it.

I was going to fix this. I was. Takano would understand after I explained it to him, and everything would be okay. I closed my eyes tightly and took in a shaky breath.

What had I just told An? That I loved him?

I did it in the spur of the moment, so I didn't really realize what I'd said until after I'd said it. And now it was out there. Now An knew how I truly felt, even though I was pretty sure I didn't even know yet. I guess...I guess now I did.

But was I even ready to admit that? And to Takano, of all people. Sure, maybe I did feel something for him, but he was still a man. I had to inherit my families company.

I had to have a family to pass what I inherited down to them...And if I really faced the facts...

Takano couldn't give me a family.

Takano was a guy. Two guy's can't have children. It's just not possible...

I felt warm tears stream down my cheeks as that thought occurred to me. Why was I so disappointed it that fact? I didn't want a family with Takano!

Right? I silently tried to figure out what I truly wanted with Takano, and the feeling of exhaustion washed over me like a tidal wave. I yawned quietly, my eyes still closed.

A loud thud on my door made me jump, and I quickly got up to open it. "An—I meant what I said-"

"What did you say?" Takano asked the moment I opened the door. I blinked and sighed.

"Takano, not now, please..." He gave me a cold look, pushing his was inside my house. Why did he always seem to do that?

"Sorry, Onodera, but we need to talk." He said with an apologetic look. Squinting his eyes, he reached out towards me and stroked my cheek. "Were you crying?" He asked suddenly, his voice filled with worry. I slapped his hand away and shook my head, making my way over to my room.

"Takano, please, just leave." I whispered, unable to find my voice.

"No, I'm not leaving." He stated, grabbing onto my arm and pulling me into a hug. "Why were you crying?"He asked softly, his arms tightening around me. Unable to control it any longer, I suddenly just...broke. Huge sobs overcame me, and my thoughts became blurred, and all I could think of was me and An getting married and Takano having to watch...

"I don't want to get married, Takano!" I sobbed, clinging onto him with all of my might. He took in a sharp breath and picked me up, grunting slightly as he did so. He slowly carried me to my bedroom and sat down on the bed, still holding me in his arms.

"I know, Ritsu, I know." His strong, warm hands stroked my hair, making me sob even more. Those hands wouldn't be able to hold me any longer. To touch me...

Why was my life so fucked up?

"And you saw An kissing me! And it wasn't what An said. She was lying, and-and- I didn't want to call her out in front of you, cause it'd just be more drama, but you looked so hurt and..." I whimpered and laid my head against his chest.

"And what?" He asked softly, looking down at me.

"And then you just gave up." I stated sadly, unable to stop my voice from showing just how much that fact hurt me.

"I gave up?" He asked, making me nod in agreement.

"Yeah. You did...You just bowed your head and left." I mumbled, my tears suddenly gone. I didn't feel the urge to cry anymore, and I silently wondered why. Oh well, I probably just didn't have anymore tears or something.

"Onodera Ritsu, I love you with all of my heart. You know I'd never give up on you." Takano stated, his voice full of honesty.

"You promise?"

"I promise." He leaned over me, giving me a small, soft kiss on the lips before putting me down onto the bed and getting on top of me. "Do I have to convince you?" He asked with a grin, making me nod quickly.

Why was I so eager for him to...?

Wait.

No.

Something isn't right...

"Takano, I'm so happy." I found myself saying as he placed another kiss on my lips. He smiled happily.

"Me too, Ritsu, me too."

No. No. No.

This can't be.

I didn't say that! I'm not happy! The wedding—it's still going on, and-and, I still had to inherit the family business...

POUND POUND POUND.

I jolted up from my sleep and looked around my apartment room. "A dream?" I whispered, reaching into my pocket to pull out my cellphone.

5:43 A.M.

_Oh come on. _You've got to be kidding me! Every part of that was a dream?!

POUND POUND POUND.

"Oi, Onodera! Let me in! Onodera!" I heard Takano's booming voice command. I sighed miserably and slowly got up, leaning against the door for a few seconds before cracking it open.

"What?" I croaked, peering at him through the small opening.

He gave me a stern look and gestured for me to open the door wider. "Come on, let me in."

I shook my head stubbornly.

"No. Just tell me what you need."

He sighed and crossed his arms. "I need to talk to you. Before we go to work."

"It's Saturday." I grumbled, yawning. "We don't have work today."

"You missed yesterday, remember? You went home from the hospital and took the day off. Shouldn't you be making up your work?"

I shook my head. "I'll make it up Monday, Takano, just let me rest."

He gave me a look and sighed yet again. "Open the door. We need to talk."

"Takano, listen I'm tired, and it's five A.M-"

"It's about An." He interrupted, making me fall silent. Right. Everything that had happened with An hadn't been a dream. Only me explaining everything to Takano had been.

I mumbled something under my breath and opened up the door. He quickly stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

"What?" I managed to ask, rubbing my eyes before yawning again.

He gave me a sad look. "You didn't get much sleep?"

I shook my head. "No. I didn't. Now, Takano, please, just say what needs to be said so that I can lay back down." I knew for a fact that I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep now, but I honestly didn't want to talk to him right now. The dream had been such a let down...I just wasn't in the mood to see him.

He nodded and shifted uneasily. "Well, about the marriage, are you really going to go through with it?"

"No."

He blinked, and then nodded again. "I didn't think so...But, what about the kiss?"

"Forced herself on me." I answered, my voice a mere monotone.

"And you're not getting with her...then?"

"Of course not. Why would I suddenly want to?"

He shrugged and let out a sigh of relief. "Thank God. I knew I shouldn't get worried over that...But I couldn't help it. I always get so anxious over you and An..." He trailed off, only to start back up again. "I mean, I know I shouldn't, because I know that you only think of her as a friend, and you've already rejected her so many times...But I just get so restless over the thought of you getting with her."

My eyes widened slightly and I watched him, remaining silent. He was really that worried over me? He got anxious like I did? He always seemed to have his emotions under control, so I never would've thought of Takano of all people as the type to get worried so easily.

"I'm sorry for leaving you, last night." He murmured, reaching out to caress my cheek. "I wasn't giving up on you, or anything. I was just...getting away while I could. I didn't want to hurt An." He chuckled softly, his warm eyes meeting my own.

"I love you, Onodera." I nodded quickly, looking down at my feet.

He just said exactly what I needed to hear. He knew how I felt, and he made sure to put my worries at rest. Was I that much of an open book? How had he known that...?

"How did you..?" He smiled slightly.

"The look on your face when I told you two to have a wonderful night. You looked so betrayed, and saddened. I figured you'd took that was a sign of me giving up."

"I did." I answered quietly, making him lean forward and give me a small peck. I didn't bother to push away. I didn't have to will to.

"You always misinterpret what I do, so I just wanted to make sure you knew that I'd never give up that easily. Especially not to An." He reassured me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me in for another kiss. This one deeper, and so, so soft...

"ONODERA RITSU YOU WILL OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT THIS INSTANT OR SO HELP ME GOD, YOU WILL REGRET EVER COMING INTO THIS WORLD."

My eyes widened in shock as I looked over at Takano, who gave me a look of confusion.

"Is that your..." Takano trailed off, his caramel eyes watching me intently.

"_Mom_." I whispered, slowly opening the front door to my apartment.


End file.
